13 July 2006

The 9-11 Flying Carpets and the Magic Jet Fuel from Aladdin's Lamp - Part II

The 9/11 Flying Carpets and the Magic Jet Fuel from Aladdin’s Lamp (Part II)

This latest tale is a story within a story within a story… or multiple 'Mise en abyme'.

In the previous tales of the Book of 1001 night, the Caliph who always remains unnamed rules an island "between India and China". In the latest tale the Mock Caliph rules a strange country between India, China, and Russia named Al-anarkia.

Ding-dong dolt the cockeyed Hashish Eater Idiot or Shrub for short [idiot: A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers - the term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dictionary/entry/idiot] asks his wily friend Ja’far the trickster how he could become a Caliph. A Caliph? Give me a break! Okay, a Mock caliph.

Amused by Shrub’s cocaine-induced audacity, and seeing a clear opportunity for himself, the evil Ja’far, who later becomes the Grand Vizier (or Grand Wazir, the equivalent of a Vice President), invokes The “Master”.The Master has seen in the doltish Shrub in ideal candidate because of his mental incapacity, sadomasochistic perversions and addiction to banned substances, and instructs Z.I.F.F.A.R., his ring of sprites, goblins, elves and pixies who practice black magic and other forms of sorcery under him, to crown Ding-dong the Hashish Eater as the Mock Caliph of Al-anarkia.

Later, on the night of investiture, the Master reveals himself in the flesh to Ding-dong Shrub the Hashish Eater and feels him on his shoulders whereupon two serpents grow [see The Book of Kings.] out of the panic-stricken Shrub’s shoulders.

The Master warns that to stay alive, and continue to rule as the Mock Caliph of Al-anarkia Ding-dong Shrub must eat the brains of 5 young soldiers from his own army and shed indiscriminately the blood of 1,001 people from other countries EVERY day.

Ding-dong Shrub the Hashish Eater [now the Mock Caliph] and his wife the 'Foolish Weaver' are at first worried about the serpents eating habits and turn to Ja’far and the ring of sorcerers [ZIFFAR] for help. The inner ring of ZIFFAR consist of the “The Pious Black Slave”, “The Queen of Serpents”, “The Prince of Darkness”, “The Werewolf”, “The Man Who Forged a Letter in his Name”, “The Man Who Stole the Dish of Gold Wherein The Dog Ate”, “The Sharper of Alexandria and the Chief of Police”, “The Ruined Man Who became Rich Again Through A Dream,” the degenerate Mayor of Dodge-em city and many others...

Ja’far the evil sorcerer decides to adopt a tried and tested routine. He dispatches Al-Rumsi, his lesser Vizier, to Baghdad to search for Aladdin’s old Magic Lamp.

Al-Rumsi meets with Ali Baba (aka Saddam), the ugly lead thief, and manages to strike a bargain, literally stealing the Lamp from the ugly thief. He returns triumphantly with the Aladdin’s Lamp tucked safely in his briefcase.

Back in Al-anarkia, Ja’far and other ZIFFAR sorcerers rub the Lamp furiously; alas, no genie appears. They then google the Internet and find that the surly resident genie is no longer active; either he has long retired, or has died of kidney failure. The Acting Head for the Ministry of Truth [Orwell, 1984] comes up with the idea of a virtual genie. “After all”, he blurts, “who the hell would ever know the difference!”

Thus the die is cast. The Aladdin’s old Lamp is back in service- albeit with a virtual surly genie named Osama...

"Open, Sesame!"

Next, the “The Ruined Man Who became Rich Again Through A Dream” buys the lease for the Treasure Towers in Dodge-em’s concrete forest which are filled with gold bullions, precious metals, precious stones, financial instruments, computer data, and lots of valuable secrets.

“The Man Who Stole the Dish of Gold Wherein The Dog Ate”, and others prepare a plot to rub the Towers. All they need now is a narrative with continuity, verisimilitude, and suspension of disbelief and a reinforced Fourth wall. A plotline with the strong Plot Devices would be needed. They must also get the right mix of Dramatic Situations, and select the appropriate Conflicts. They must employ Stock Characters and work on Characterization; they would need the right Rhetoric and Visions in a dramatic Setting. Errors and Gaps must be kept down to a minimum- but who cares, no one would know, anyway. Right?

Some of the other Characters in The Book of 1001 Nights:The evil Grand Wazir, “The Pious Black Slave”, “The Queen of Serpents”, “The Prince of Darkness”, “The Werewolf”, “The Man Who Forged a Letter in His Name”, “The Man Who Stole the Dish of Gold Wherein The Dog Ate”, “The Sharper of Alexandria and the Chief of Police” “The Chief of the Kus Police”, “The Ruined Man Who became Rich Again Through A Dream”, “Warden the Butcher (who had an Adventure With the Lady and the Bear)”, “The Water-Carrier who had an affair with the Goldsmith's Wife”, “The Two Wicked Elders”, “The Unwise Schoolmaster Who Fell in Love”, “The Illiterate Who Set Up For a Schoolmaster”, “The Prior who became a Christian”, “The Angel of Death and the King of the Children of Israel”, “The Jewish Kazi and His Pious Wife”, “The Blacksmith Who Could Handle Fire Without Hurt”, “The Christian King's Daughter and the Son of Moslem Merchant”, “the Man Who Longed to see the Night of Power”, “The Man who Never Laughed During the Rest of His Days”, “Judar and His Brethren”, “The man who Enlarged Pearls”, “The Singer and the Druggist”, “The Prince Who Fell In Love With the Picture”, “The First Lunatic”, “Second and Other Lunatics”, “The Degenerate Mayor of Dodge’em City”, “The Linguist-Dame”...

[The characters described here come from the list of stories within The Book of One Thousand and One Nights. Any resemblance to the actual individuals who architected the 9/11, carried out the demolitions and benefited from them are purely...]

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